Could he be giving off cues that say he’s absolutely smitten with you? David Smiedt points’em out.
The dating jungle is all about survival - the blend of instinct and experience that turns you from hunted to hunter. Between the pauses in conversation we scan our date’s body language, intonations and expressions as a guide to our own performance. Are we winning them over or are they inventing a killer migraine that will cut short the evening?
This process is made all the more complex by the fact that dates art rarely encumbered by honesty. We present to this person the version of ourselves we believe they will find most impressive. What’s more, the underlying principle of dating - that it’s the first step to a substantial and possibly lifelong relationship - is probably wisely ignored as this could transform what should be a fun, flirtatious diversion into a Dr Phil marathon. Coming on too strong can be just as crucial a mistake as indifference, so we scramble to find a romantic middle ground in which we appear interested but not clingy, interesting but not self-absorbed and so on. At the same time, we are constantly seeking out little, subtle signs that our charms are working their magic.
Being a man, I am in no position to comment on these cues whet they’re transmitted by women. On more occasions than I care to admit, a date who I thought was attracted to me was signalling nothing more than politeness and the desire for the bill to be brought to the table. At other times, I have been taken aside by female friends at parties and toll to stop acting like such an arrogant fool towards a woman who was clearly attracted to me. Both she and I knew this didn’t happen too often so intervention was clearly requires before the moment was lost. Which it unfortunately already was.
Not surprisingly, women find reading men’s subtle signs of attraction just as perplexing as we too know the perils of coming on to strong. The time has thus come to settle these muddy waters and provide a field guide to the behaviours men exhibit when under your spell.
(more…)