How not to lose the spot when you…
When it comes to bad luck, it doesn’t just rain; it buckets down. Luckily, we have an umbrella.
Ever feel like the world’s closing in on you? Like nothing seems to be going your way? Bet Jessica Simpson can relate. It might look like the biggest dilemma in her life is which designer handbag to carry to lunch at The Ivy but, the truth is, she’s going through a rough patch and the cracks are starting to show.
Since giving ex-hubby Nick Lachey the flick, Jess has struggled to make a splash in the dating pool while Nick’s been moving at lightning speed with new squeeze Vanessa Minnillo. She’s also reportedly fallen out with her best friend and her singing career is headed south foster than a duck in winter. Her latest album sold just 200,000 copies while her first blitzed the charts, selling 2.9 million copies. Throw in a family feud and a fired publicist and it doesn’t make for a very happy mix.
So how do you deal when you luck has packed its bags and taken a one-way trip to Alaska just like Miss Simpson’s? You “roll with the punches and not wallow,” as the singer said recently. “My life is chaos right now. But you can let the chaos consume you or you can just walk along with it.”
If you’re prepared to fight setback instead of losing the plot, you’re already on the fast lane to feeling better. But if you want to speed up that 180-degree life makeover, you need a little insider info. The goal news? We’ve plenty to go around.
Help! I’ve had a friendship fallout
Had a Paris and Lilo-style blowout? Drifted away from your mates? Being out of the social loop can feel like court-ordered exile. “My friend told me off for ditching her in favour o my new man,” reveals Bec, 25. “We didn’t speak for ages. It was agony because she was my go-to person to drinks and chats.”
Turn it around: No friends equal no fun. No matter how much yo think you can live without your buddies, you can’t. We all need someone to share a glass of wine with on Friday night or to go to the salon with when we’re 80. So if you were in the wrong - and we all know when we’ve stuffed up- then an apology is in order. “Universal laws of attraction say that when we’re feeling negative, we attract more negativity and vice versa,” says inspirational author and lifecoach Andrew McCombe. “That means if you don’t resolve the issues with your friend, your pain will fester and other areas of your life will suffer.”
If you’re the angel in the situation, as long as your friend isn’t the toxic kind, be the bigger person and patch things up. Why not hit the movies or the shops for your first outing together? That way there’ll be something else to focus on and you won’t feel so awkward.
Help! My family is a nightmare
There’s nothing like a family drama to make you want to spend Christmas camping by yourself in Cuba. “My parents are divorced so holidays are difficult and my sister usually has some kind of crisis,” says Beth, 24. “I always end up stressed, angry and exhausted at the end of it.”
Turn it around: Try taking an emotional step backward. “When it comes to family, we let feelings and baggage cloud our judgment.” says therapist Dr Tracie O’Keefe. “You need to be more objective and look at the situation from the outside so you don’t overreact.” Remember, not every crisis is about you, so don’t get emotionally caught up. You’re not your family’s therapist and it’s great to be there for them, you need time out to get perspective after yourself. “Make sure you capture the good times,” suggests Dr O’Keefe. “That way you can look back when you need a reminder a how great your family can be.”
Help! I’m having a career crisis
Copping more abuse at work that Naomi Campbell’s assistant? It could be time for a career change. “I was so uninspired by my job that I’d cry on Monday mornings,” admits Emily 24. “I wanted to quit but was scared. Then I was made redundant and realised that I’d wasted two years whining instead of doing something about my unhappiness.”
Turn it around: Figure out the cause - is it a colleague, your boss, the pay? These can all be fixed with a little communication. If it’s your company or industry, start job hunting. “First, conduct a career assessment to see where your strengths and passions lie,” says career consultant Katie Roberts. “You can also see a career coach. Once you know exactly what field you want to get into, do some research and check out employment sites, such as www.jobstreet.com.sg, for opportunities.” You can also try courses, work experience or taking a short holiday to recharge.
Help! The jerk broke my heart
Breaking up is as much fun as being hit by a bus. Just ask Renee, 28, whose boyfriend of six years dumped her out of the blue. “l was shattered for months,” she recalls. “I could’ve really sunk into depression, but I read Greg Behrendt’s It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken and realized it was time to move on. I didn’t want to spend the next year moping.”
Turn it around: The key to getting over a split is self-love, and lots of it. You can control how you think, feel and behave, so put yourself back in the driver’s seat of life. “The worst thing you can do to yourself is become overwhelmed by it all,” says McCombe. “Appreciate crappy, less than desirable experiences for what they are - a reason to learn and grow.” Once you’ve had a good cry, start doing the things that make you feel happy. Jessica Simpson said that writing poetry and decorating her new pad with antiques helped her feel good about life and herself again. She also took time out from partying to “cleanse” herself and spent many nights in with her best buddies and dog, Daisy. “It’s been hard, but I’ve finally come to the realization that it’s OK to not be perfect,” she mused recently. “I’m just proud of allowing myself to think, to act and to be.” Sounds like Jess might finally be turning things around. Now, how about you? [Text by Melissa Ironside]
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Tags: Greg Behrendt, Jessica Simpson, jobstreet, Nick Lachey, O'Keefe
