How you make children listen to you

The way parents speak to their children has serious implication on how they will respond to them at the present moment and in the future. When it comes to finding the right way to speak to them, parents don’t realize that their choice of choice also affects how they will respond them.

Every day children challenge parents’ limits and parents’ response to those limits. Some of the ways they respond to the way parents speak is related to being a child. Other behaviors however are related to how parents directly speak to them.

One important parenting tips is setting boundaries and limitations. Parents may spend a lot of time telling children how they should behave when they haven’t yet decided which boundaries and limitations are important for behaving and why. Some parents and caregivers are aware of the need to set specific boundaries and limitations but aren’t sure which words to use or what style of speaking is appropriate for fear they might anger or disappoint a child.

We cannot expect our children to respect us simply because we are their parents. In order for our children to listen more, we need a certain system so we can talk less and allow children to listen more. Here are a few ways in which to solve this problem:

1. Avoid using harmful or hurtful words. Use words that are effective long-term and reinforce a feeling of connection in terms of belonging and significance. Punishments work short term but has negative long-term results.

2. Use the power of the three R’s: Review, repeat and reinforce.

If you want your children to listen to you more, you need to know which boundaries and limitations are important for you to establish. Then use the power of the three R’s to reinforce them. Review (don’t assume), repeat and reinforce using positive reinforcement. A bit of praise can go a long way.

3. Children learn to listen by doing. If you want your child for example to understand the importance of sitting together during a meal but then you allow him to watch television while dinner is being served, you can expect him/her to challenge you when you suddenly turn off the television and then ask him/her to join you at the dinner table.

4. Nurture positive communication. Positive communication is never punitive or humiliating to children. On the other hand, it is not permissive. It is both kind and firm at the same time. Two themes parents can focus on are solutions and connection before correction.

5. Give choices. it is always possible to give choices even when there are no choices. choices always have to be clear. For example, you can say: “do you want to wear a red or blue coat?” but wearing a coat outside should be understood by the child as non-negotiable.

6. Be consistent. I’m sure you’ve heard this one before. You set an example by doing. If you talk about being frustrated at the end of the day, children will hear. You may not think they are hearing the things you say, but they are and this can bring on a power struggle.

If you want to avoid a power struggle with your child, then decide first what values are important for you to nurture as a family. We are not born with patience but the things we can do to nurture a positive relationship with our children can result in our children listening more and us as parents speaking less.

Article Source: EzineArticles.com